This is taking a lot of courage for you to put your raw feelings out there, but your are working through a long overdue letting go of intense feelings. Hopefully it will be a purge of your heartache. Maybe we are all surrogates out here to help you. Lol. Giving our perspectives since we all carry scars of our own. Let it out as much as you can/need. Consider that you are at a turning point in your life. Your Mom is no longer there to hurt you or to apologize. Now it is up to you live your life, to do the work, to shed the pain and to find your peace.
Thank you for sharing this glimpse of your mother-daughter journey, Maria--revealing the complexity and nuance of genuine compassion and just anger, healthy boundaries and unhelpful assumptions, tenderness and fierceness, honesty and growth. I relate to so much of what you wrote. Over the weekend I ended contact with my mother--after decades of trying stay connected to someone who is probably doing her best and who I love dearly, but who is also relentlessly toxic and consistently abusive. Here's to mothering ourselves, letting ourselves be loved by the people who CAN love us, and hopefully finding peace in the messy journey of untangling from harmful mothers that we love.
This is taking a lot of courage for you to put your raw feelings out there, but your are working through a long overdue letting go of intense feelings. Hopefully it will be a purge of your heartache. Maybe we are all surrogates out here to help you. Lol. Giving our perspectives since we all carry scars of our own. Let it out as much as you can/need. Consider that you are at a turning point in your life. Your Mom is no longer there to hurt you or to apologize. Now it is up to you live your life, to do the work, to shed the pain and to find your peace.
Thank you for sharing this glimpse of your mother-daughter journey, Maria--revealing the complexity and nuance of genuine compassion and just anger, healthy boundaries and unhelpful assumptions, tenderness and fierceness, honesty and growth. I relate to so much of what you wrote. Over the weekend I ended contact with my mother--after decades of trying stay connected to someone who is probably doing her best and who I love dearly, but who is also relentlessly toxic and consistently abusive. Here's to mothering ourselves, letting ourselves be loved by the people who CAN love us, and hopefully finding peace in the messy journey of untangling from harmful mothers that we love.