Relationships take work, but with good hearts, the work feels worthy. My husband has long conversations each week with a very old friend whose beliefs are not only wildly different from his, but even some of his values (the friend's distant relationship with his son, for example). Their conversations get edgy and hostile at times, especially when discussing their theories about "consciousness". My husband is very right-brained and looks at things through a less "logical" lens, while the friend is a physicist who believes his views are totally "rational" and science-based. He often is rude and calls my husband "stupid"! Yet they keep calling and keep talking. Why? I think it's because ultimately they are engaged in the noble cause of understanding. It's painful and doesn't often yield desired results, but it is the best thing that humans can do - talk through their misunderstandings and give it TIME to settle and percolate, and maybe, heal. It's clear that our emotions play a huge part in these struggles, and that is a good thing. I do want people to care, and care deeply, even when mistaken.
So well said Maria. The other day I wrote down someone's thought: Instead of trying to change someone else's beliefs, try to understand their perspective.
Relationships take work, but with good hearts, the work feels worthy. My husband has long conversations each week with a very old friend whose beliefs are not only wildly different from his, but even some of his values (the friend's distant relationship with his son, for example). Their conversations get edgy and hostile at times, especially when discussing their theories about "consciousness". My husband is very right-brained and looks at things through a less "logical" lens, while the friend is a physicist who believes his views are totally "rational" and science-based. He often is rude and calls my husband "stupid"! Yet they keep calling and keep talking. Why? I think it's because ultimately they are engaged in the noble cause of understanding. It's painful and doesn't often yield desired results, but it is the best thing that humans can do - talk through their misunderstandings and give it TIME to settle and percolate, and maybe, heal. It's clear that our emotions play a huge part in these struggles, and that is a good thing. I do want people to care, and care deeply, even when mistaken.
yes, I think when we can see that people care, even though we disagree with them, at least they care. That's something, isn't it?!
So well said Maria. The other day I wrote down someone's thought: Instead of trying to change someone else's beliefs, try to understand their perspective.
I recently heard: "What is it like to be you?" as a way of engaging with others who we might disagree with.
That might be a good one. Not sure how I would answer. lol